What's YOUR Relationship Persona?

So, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and about "relationship personalities", a term I'm not so sure I've coined, but will say I have for the purposes of this blog.

I tried to categorize different relationship personalities, but I'm sure there are more than those which occur to me, so I'll just mention a few that I've noticed, and what I think of them.

The Broken Record

This girl/guy keeps attracting and being attracted to the SAME kind of detrimental personality type time and time again. The worst part is, instead of recognizing a pattern, they keep falling in the same trap and never learn from their mistakes because they are too busy trying to justify why this new person is "so different" from the last one; arguably a subconscious admission that they see blatant similarities between the two.

The Case of the Missing Friend

This guy/girl starts out cool, but eventually every word out of their mouth is (S.O.'s name) this, (S.O.'s name) that... This is excusable if it lasts for a short "honeymoon period" while the friend gets acclimated to the new relationship. However, it becomes a problem when all of a sudden, the friend stops answering the phone, and if you ARE able to reach them to offer an invite, they don't want to go if their S.O. can't go, or if their S.O. doesn't approve. They lose all self identity and do not exist outside of their S.O. Every hobby they had before entering the relationship falls to the wayside, and their only goal and only happiness in life is anything that includes their S.O. Even if the relationship turns sour and it becomes obvious that it is bringing the worst out of them, they will compromise true happiness and what is best for them because they feel that their S.O. provides all the happiness they need, and that they could not exist without him/her.

The Basher/Whiner

This guy/girl takes every little gripe they have with their S.O. (I'm only talking about the little idiosyncrasies that can be overlooked, not serious character flaws or incompatability issues) and escalates them to monumental proportions calling their friends to vent whiile making the S.O. look like a horrible person, when, in actuality, the S.O. is not half bad. The worst part is that the Basher/Whiner, after complaining and dumping all of this baggage and negative energy off onto their friend, then returns to the S.O. and everything is tropical paradise and mai-tais for them and the S.O. (who, in most cases, never knew he/she was doing anything disagreeable in the first place, because the Basher/Whiner doesn't have the backbone or common sense to address his/her concerns with the S.O., but preferably uses friends as an immediate release of their frustration). Next, the Basher/Whiner doesn't understand why his/her friends want nothing to do with the S.O. in social situations. (Who can blame the friends for forming an opinion based on the negative info, the ONLY info, they receive about the S.O. from the friend?)

The Mother/Father Figure

This person ignores OBVIOUS character flaws or incompatability issues they may have with their potential S.O. and enters a relationship because they want the "credit of the upgrade". They try to turn a common thug into an intellectual, a KNOWN player into someone who wants to be in a faithful, monagamous relationship (with the Mother/Father Figure, of course), a hoe into a housewife, or person who doesn't respect his or her self or others into a person that the Mother/Father Figure can "bring home to mama". More subtle actions the mother/father figure often exhibit are controlling language or actions, including trying to guilt their S.O. into feeling bad for choosing to do something other than that which he/she wants the S.O. to do, and or attempting to establish a dependence of the S.O. on the Mother/Father figure through a twisted system of rewards and punishments, or showing obvious disapproval in anything that could cause the S.O. to maintain a sense of independence in the relationship.

The Crafty Salesman

This person becomes a master at utilizing the elastic qualities of the truth, bending and stretching away until they have conveyed the perfect image and convinced the victim (their potential S.O.) to become completely enthralled in what they want to be perceived that they have to offer. The Crafty Salesman sells the S.O. a dream and make him/her believe a false image of themself, that is, until the warranty expires... Once they've sealed the deal and there's no turning back, once they've gotten the S.O. so hooked and satisfied with their performance they're free to show their true colors! Then, The Crafty Salesman tries to make the S.O. believe he/she misheard or misinterpreted The Crafty Salesman's original intentions and alerts the S.O. to the fact that he/she is stuck with the consequences... No exchanges or refunds... All sales are final, and there's no way to restore the product to its original, shiny, brand-spankin-new state!

The funny thing is, I'm sure I've been a combo of a few of these in previous relationships or "non-relationships". As I think of more, I'll add them.