Bey is TOO serious!

You can't even embed the video from YouTube because she's gone so far to protect her copyright... Anyway, this song is SO hot, I'm ADDICTED. Ignore dude's wack @$$ rap!



THIS SONG IS SO HOT! And I'm not one of those people who listen to music without listening to the words... So clearly I like them too!

Laziness

So a couple friends and I were talking about laziness when it comes to opposite sex relationships... My 1 friend has had guys reach out to her, but she would just not call or text them back, and she said this is cuz she just dont have the energy. I guess I understand that to a certain extent. Like I was telling my friend today, I'm to the point where all that extra never seems to work out. So I'm not doing anything extra. I'm too lazy/tired to do anything xtra. If it doesn't come easy, it don't need to come at all.

But then I be thinking that it WON'T come easy, because I have this outlook that all these guys bore me. If they fine, they bastards. Or they dumb as rocks and not doing nothing with their life. If they are doing somethin, they're so hideous I couldn't bear to look at them. Everyone halfway decent is already in a relationship, and many of those who fall in the last group still don't CARE about their relationship, is even more of a turnoff. I'm tired of giving giving giving. I just want to receive. So if it doesn't seem that that's where something is headed, I'm instantly bored and lock that person into some category that minimizes their importance to my life.

Maybe I'll have a movie nite w/ my friend this week. He moves into his new condo. Maybe I'll be able to pick his brain more about how guys think, although he wasn't very helpful last time... I gotta find a way to get the secrets out... He was too guarded last time, talkin bout betraying his sex and stuff... I'm gonna figure this out 1 way or another.

The paralegal @ my job asked me what kind of guys I'm attracted to... I said "breathing". lol. She was trying to hook me up with her daughter's god daddy. He was attractive, (if I could get him to cut this stupid beard off his chin) but I wasn't interested, cuz he looked a lil jobless! lol. I didn't like how he dressed... Like a thug. I'm not attracted to that no more. Haven't been in years! All things "thug" make me run screaming in the opposite direction. I learned my lesson. My o.m. gon jump in like, uh-uh he ain't good enuff 4 her. And the paralegal gon say "I aint tryna find her a life partner! I'm just tryna get her some DICK!" (Ahhh the rare peaceful days when all the partners are out of the office)

I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT! I'm like, honestly disgusted. It would be nice to wait until I'm married to have sex, but... being (either negative or realistic) I doubt that'll happen. So I'll say that I want to wait until I have a strong mental, physical, emotional connection with someone b4 I engage in that kind of behavior. Otherwise, I'm seriously like ewwwwwwww! You want to do WHAT? With WHAT? and put it WHERE? And I'm supposed to LIKE that!? GROSS! Like I'm a little kid or something. I don't understand it. I used to be the type of girl who could just have casual sex... That's not me... Hasn't been for quite some time. The only result of that is an INSTANT feeling of disgust. Or, if I was trying to force myself to casually sex someone that I used to have feelings for, I realized that I still had feelings for them, and then THAT ish didn't work out, because I wasn't satisfied with the casual nature of the sex. Some of my friends are perfectly okay with the casual sex thing. It's just not me. I'm a failure at casual sex. So more often than not, I simply choose not to partake.

An acquaintance calls me every blue moon, but before he gets off the phone with me, he never fails to ask me who I'm f-in now... There seems to be an obvious ulterior motive in his asking... I find it funny. Glad to know that my sex life (or lack thereof) is of interest to you!

Eventually I'm gonna be too lazy to answer my phone. Especially for one acquaintance who crawls out from under a rock just to irritate me, and then disappear again. My friend and I both agree that they should never leave their rock. Poof... staygone!

If Only You Knew

So we're texting about marriage and (not really) love...

(Thoughts spurred by my experiences working at the divorce and family law firm and a drama-filled Thursday deposition in which we interviewed the girlfriend a husband is cheating on his wife with...

All 3 parties and their lawyers were present...

The husband was acting a fool and the WHORE's lawyer was trying to convince her that the wife was a horrible person for not wanting to befriend the WHORE... The nerve of some people.

I love my job...)

Anyway...

I share my newfound speculations about about marriage, cheating, and money.

You make a joke that if both the husband and wife are poor, they'll be poor together... Typical You...

I say that won't be a concern in MY marriage, because both of us will be wealthy...

You ask me if "by 'Us' I was referring to you and I"... Thereby incorporating yourself in my future fantasy. (Maybe not intentionally, but it happened)

The funny thing is that I WASN'T referring to you because I was more than half sleep, since it often takes you HOURS to respond to texts, even when continuing a text conversation...

My mind just wasn't thinking that deeply then.

However, I won't lie... I have wondered that about our future (specifically marriage) when things were going well between us, though I'd never tell you that

(at least not now, cuz I'm sure you'd handle it stupidly, and I see no point of even thinking of you in that way... Right now, I'm honestly content with rebuilding our friendship, if that's something you'd want to do)

and when you asked me that question you caught me off guard and made those old thoughts surface for a fraction of a second.

So I responded in my cryptic way that's not a lie and not the whole truth... Most people never catch on (or never care, lol) and I'm usually never asked to clarify what I meant.

"I'm referring to my future husband and I"...

That left the window open... If you still want a place in my fantasy, it's yours... If you're my future husband... Otherwise, I'm not referring to you, Honey.

And of course my overanalytical mind wonders why you'd even think that there's a possibility that I'd be reffering to you? And even if you thought it, why you'd alert me to the fact that the possibility crossed your mind?

Does this mean you've wondered about me in this way before!?

I crack up when I think back to the very first time it crossed mine... I crack up... You'd probably misread it and be upset.

And then I roll over and go back to sleep, in disbelief that I still wake up out of my sleep to answer my phone for you at 1:30 in the morning... ESPECIALLY just a text...

Now I'm wondering how you're doing tonight... right this very second. Sleep well... Sweet dreams... Maybe we'll communicate this week... Maybe not...

Can't Do This Thing Called Life W/o You Here W/Me

I was mad at God... All weekend. But one of my Pastor's major themes is "When I think of the Goodness of Jesus and All that He's done for me... basically I can't help but praise Him." I felt so bad, because something I asked him to do within the next 2 weeks, he's doing it, but I got mad at him for not doing something I asked. I kept telling him I was so disappointed and I wanted Him to make me feel better, but it didn't happen until I went to church today. I was so mad at Him that I broke a promise I made to Him...

The message was about the Holies of Holies, and about how God ripped the veil back in the day from top to bottom to show that we never need a middleman to come into His presence; we can worship Him and get there ourselves. Then, during worship today (which was awesome... Definitely ran to the altar and laid on my face...) I was crying because I felt bad for getting mad at God. Pastor Hannah mentioned Proverbs 3:5... After reflection tonight, here it is in the KJV. (With a lil' extra...)

5.Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7.Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
8.It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
9.Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
10.So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

I have to learn to trust God completely. I also asked him to help me to hear and know His voice, because I get confused... The above scriptures are like the bomb in the Message Bible... I think I'm gonna buy that Bible to supplement my study:

5.Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.
6.Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.
7.Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!
8.Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!
9.Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best.
10.Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.

I'm still believing Him for my Ephesians 3:20 blessing:
KJV:
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think , according to the power that worketh in us,

The Message:
God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.


I used to hate when ppl remixed secular songs into Christian songs, but during worship, this young man played the violin, and one of the worship leaders sang a version of Beyonce's Dangerously in Love... Man... It was kinda awesome... I started crying harder...

All that for this?

Why is facebook worth billions of dollars?

Is it really that serious? Where is all this money coming from? Advertising?

Livin 4

I really like this song... "Livin 4" by J. Moss It makes me think of a certain someone... I really miss this person and I really wish we could be good friends... Problem is, the sexual chemistry I feel with him is greater than I've ever felt in my entire life. So, I guess, until we can sit down and talk about some things, until I can get rid of my feelings for him both romantic and sexual, I shouldn't try to get close to him... I might mess up... IDK... It sucks though because it's more than just sexual desire... I actually still have feelings for him. So that part wants to be able to just pick up the phone and call him like back in the day... But then my conscience 1. Doesn't want to get hurt and 2. (even though this should be #1, I'm being honest right now) Needs to make sure that I'm presenting my body as a living sacrifice to God, as in Romans 12:1... This song really hits home...

Muziq

Friday night boredom. Coulda gone out but I hate The Boutique... I've been up since 6am, so I prefer to spend this Friday night in my bed with my doggie... Responding to this questionaire that I found in another blog, while reminiscing and listening to music.

1. Song that makes you dance, no matter what:
"Get Me Bodied" - Beyonce... I can be sleep in the club... When this comes on, I just have to get up & bounce my booty... esp. when they play the extended remix

2. Song you'd use to tell someone you love them:
"Love" -Destiny's Child... OR "A Gift From Virgo" - Beyonce... Maybe both songs back to back... If I could sing, my future husband (wherever the hell he is) would be serenaded with the latter at my wedding.

3. Song that has made you sit down and analyze the lyrics:
I analyze the lyrics of EVERY song, but... Lyrics that make me think deeply... Hmm... "I Want My Destiny" - Fred Hammond... If I'm reading on the train and this song comes on my iPod, I can't even focus because I'm focusing on the lyrics in relation to my life. OR "Everything I Am" - Kanye OR "Tears Dry On Their Own" - Amy Winehouse

4. Song you like that a two-year old would like:
"Anyone Else But You" -Moldy Peaches

5. Song that gives you an energy boost:
"Freaks of the Industry" - Digital Underground

6. A song you and your grandparents would like:
IDK... Some ol' school gospel.

7. Song you really liked when you were in high school that you still like now:
"F*ck Them Other Hoes" - Khia
"Do-Wop (That Thing)" - Lauryn Hill
"Last Night" - Az Yet
"Bump, Bump, Bump" - B2k (yeah... sorry...)

8. A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life:
Man! ! Um.... " Resentment" - Beyonce

9. Peppy song that would start the opening credits in the movie of your life:
"Fergielicious" OR "London Bridges" - Fergie

10. A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess you liked:
"Goodbye" - Moldy Peaches

11. Song you think should have been playing when you were born:
"Heaven" - Jamie Foxx

12. Favorite duet artists:
IDK. There aren't many duet artists in my generation... Favorite Duet Song would prolly be "Til The End Of Time" - Beyonce and Justin

13. A favorite song you completely disagree with:
"And I Am Telling You" - Jennifer Holiday/Hudson (I'm sorry... I'm not finna stay around getting obviously played and I'm not finna beg nobody to love me... phukk you, Nigga!) "Knock It Out" - Yung Joc

14. Song that you like despite the fact that your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it:
"Lookin A$$ Nigga"... Instant Blondification... Especiallly the remix w/ R. Kelly

15. Smooth song for relaxing:
Just about the whole Floetry Flo'Ology Album...

16. A song you would send to someone you can't stand:
"Fancy" - Destiny's Child or if I REALLY dislike them... "Do Ya Bad" - Yung Joc

17. Favorite political track:
Jesus Walks (I know... Not really political, but IDK...)

18. Favorite track from a band considered a "super group":
WTF is a super group?
Maybe "Celebration" -Kool and the Gang... (Don't ask).

19. A song that makes you reminisce about good times with a family member:
"Ribbons in the Sky" - Stevie Wonder (Mommy used to listen to him when I was young) and "Mo Money, Mo Problems" - Mase?(IDK... It reminds me of when my cousin and I used to hang out all the time).

20. Favorite song from a soundtrack:
Tie btwn "You're Just What I Need" from Bring It On and "Not Gon Cry" by Mary J. Blige from Waiting to Exhale and "Cell Block Tango (He Had It Comin)" from Chicago.

21. Your favorite song RIGHT now:
"Show Yourself Strong " - Fred Hammond

22. Song you would sing to an ex who scorned you:
Dang... I definitely have a whole playlist of these... "Bitter" - Chante Moore, "Stronger" - Christina Aguilera", "Bruised But Not Broken" - Joss Stone

Pastor H preached on this about a month ago and it struck such a chord with me that I bought the sermon on DVD! lol.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-7

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, 5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

I don't think that many people know what it means to love. I think many people say that they love others or they are in love with others, but they truly have no clue what it really means to love someone. I think love and forgiveness goes hand in hand. Verses 4-7 are the most striking to me; probably because they're sometimes confusing to me!

For example... "Love never gives up"... Love never gives up on WHAT, exactly? I have a friend who I is in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship, but she sticks around. I guess she thinks that since she "loves" dude, she should stay in the relationship believing that it will get better. I understand her naivete to a certain extent, but only because I have been there before. When you're in love with someone and have put a lot of time and energy into a situation, it's very difficult to turn away. So she innterprets this scripture to mean that love never gives up on the thing that one is in love with... I interpret it to mean love never gives up on... love. Like even though I've been hurt so badly, and though I may have my issues with the male sex, I don't give up on love because I am sure that somewhere is the perfect person for me... IDK.

And then what's with the "Love cares for others more than for self". I think that this does make sense because it leads to selfless friendships and relationships, but what if the other person doesn't really love you? What if it's a phoney friend who shows you love just until it's no longer convenient for them to do so? Are you supposed to selflessly love this friend who hurt you so much that you put your own feelings aside and continue allowing them to hurt you? When does the concept of loving one's self take precedence? This is problematic for me because it has the ability to contradict with the notion of loving another more than one's self. I mean, I"m sure that it's possible to do both, but I think that's when the concept of FORGIVENESS comes in!

One thing I've learned is that many people in this world just don't know how to forgive. I'm the type of person, who, if hurt by someone and presented with what appears to be a GENUINE apology, will forgive that person, no matter how much pain they have caused! I've done it with my mother even though she STILL puts me through all hell at times, I've done it with tried and true friends (again... respect is IMPERATIVE for success in this area) I've even forgiven a girl who was an accomplice to the person who inflicted so much pain on me that I still struggle with it at times... I think that's what the scripture meant when it says "Love doesn't keep score of the sins of others". The aforementioned friend cheated on her boyfriend and TOLD him. (Now, I'm an advocate for total honesty, but based on past experiences, I don't think guys our age... and even older guys... can handle total honesty about certain things.) He clearly has insecurity issues based on the way he berates and belittles her, and the way he treated her even before she cheated or admitted to doing so... That's not my point... Nor yet, anyway... But they're supposedly "working out their relationship" but every chance he gets, he throws her confession in her face, and snoops in her fb, myspace, and emails without telling her (even going so far as to change her passwords when he can't get in, which is dumb as hell because she's obviously gonna notice when she tries to log in) even though she's bending over backward to try to prove that she is sorry and faithful... What a total waste of time, IMO.
IDK why it's so easy for me to forgive ppl, but I think when I've decided to love someone and make them important in my life, I just want to forgive them. I'm learning that forgiveness is a rare virtue.. Not many possess the ability to truly turn the other cheek I believe I do a pretty good job of it but I haven't always felt that the favor has been returned. I have an ex-friend whom I hurt in the past when I couldn't be for him something that he wanted because I was in pain and trying to deal with the situation which caused me this pain and to remove myself from it so as NOT to hurt him. Now, I see where he's coming from but I feel that 1. It's unfair that I can see and accept his side; his feeliings about the situation but he will not; 2. He's kinda naive for thinking that it would have been that easy for me to do, and 3. We could still be friends if he were willing to be an adult, face/talk to me about the hurt that IMO he still feels concerning the situation instead of running from the conversation whenever it has the potential to arise or alluding to it or briinging it up in RANDOM scenarios that have really nothing to do with it so he can take cheap shots which are meant to hurt me and then quickly changing the subject. I feel that His refusal to deal with the issue and completely forgive me (for something I don't really feel responsible for... I was hurt and I was weak... I was incapable of doing what he wanted me to do when he wanted me to do it.) has been the downfall of our friendship. I admit that I made some mistakes, but the fact that he refuses to forgive me and appears to still hold this grudge (even though he may not realize that this is what he's doing) makes it hard to reconnect with him and even easier to make detrimental mistakes.Whatever.. I cannot change another person's mind, so this situation definitely is what it is, and that's what it will continue to be because of the stubbornness of the other person...

Which brings me back to my original point. Maybe the ability to put one's stubbornness aside is what is meant by putting others first. It takes a lot of selflessness to swallow one's pride and reach out to someone who is too prideful to do it themself./0

"Doesn't revel when others grovel". That's probably the one thing I have an issue not doing.. When people hurt me, I have noticed myself, out of revenge, wishing bad things would happen to them. I konw this is wrong. It's something I'm working ont. I guess if I truly forgive someone, this wouldn't happen... IDK.

I still think I'm better than most at this forgiveness game... I can only think of one person who I truly struggle with and have not forgiven... This person also has not given me a sincere apology for hurting me, and I never got the chance to fully communicate to this person just how much pain their actions caused. The sucky part is that neither of things will probably happen, so I have to figure out how to forgive this person without any positive action on their part.

Ummmm.... Oops

*Warning* This post is rated G for slightly gross! lol.

So... tonight I was watching a movie with my friend because our movie night got cancelled last Friday and he has his daughter this whole weekend. (I kept my promise to myself!) He was laying on his back and I was on my stomach, so my head was like near his stomach and his head was in the same position near me, except we were propped up on pillows. Sporadically, he would reach over and rub my back or my legs. And he think he slick, the one time he "casually" rubbed my hair. He's played in my hair before, but this time I know he was checkin for tracks! (Good weaves are one of God's many blessings!)

So... I had had an upset stomach all day. Usually it comes out silently, and had been silent for the duration of the movie. One particular time (he wasn't rubbing me at this point) I passed gas thinking it would be silent... It wasn't... I never pooted in front of him (not audibly) so IDK if he heard. I didn't know if I should excuse myself or play it off, so I just tried to do the latter. I just kept watching the movie.

He didn't bring it up, so... Maybe he DIDN'T hear... Although I don't know how he coulda missed it!

But then there was this awkward silence. (Maybe I'm paranoid... We were mostly silent anyway cuz we were watchin a movie!) And I did notice that he had stopped rubbing...

Maybe he was just enthralled in the movie! lol...

If someone farted in front of me, I would just tease them to death!

He did give me a big hug when he was leaving and told me that my weave looked good while suggesting regular movie nights on his way out the door. I feel like he's silly, so he woulda brought up the um... slip-up and joked about it... Unless he's one of those ppl who is squeamish about bodily functions! lol.

Whatever... People fart.

Fairytales...

I think I did well on my test yesterday. I'm excited to receive my score report in 3weeks.

I finally watched the Sex and the City movie tonight while my bff fixed my weave. It made me all sad and stuff. Every character had a perfect fairytale ending, except maybe Samantha, and to her, that may have been a perfect fairytale ending for her.

Jenifer Hudson's character was interesting because she talked about how the man she loved had really hurt her, but that wasn't going to make eher give up on love. It made me think about my own "love?" life. I kind of made the same resolution for myself, but it's easy to see how people become bitter. I don't think it's right for people to become bitter when the person who hurt them is reaching out to apologize. I think forgiveness is key. But the two parties need to be willing to forgive eachother. In the movie, Miranda's husband cheated on her, but I don't think it's fair for her to have been witholding sex from him simply because she was too absorbed in her own life. I don't justify his cheating, but I feel she should have examined herself before she became so angry with him. The good thing is that at the end of the movie, they forgave eachother and reunited the family. IDK how common that is in real life... Especially if it had been Miranda cheating. I think men have such fragile egos, that many things they do to women are "unforgiveable" when they would expect forgiveness from women if the tables were turned.

In church today, we moved into our new building. The message was about how God will move us into an uncomfortable place while he prepares the place that he has for us. Pastor mentioned that God will isolate us and cause relationships to break down so that he can have us to Himself. I have heard this many times before from different sources, and I also notice that when I'm hurt by some fool in this world, I do tend to run to God. So now I'm working on my relationship with God even though I'm not really at a loss for friends right now. I do cherish the friends that I have though. I can pretty much tell the ones that will be around for the rest of my life... It's all about RESPECT. The movie made me think of where my closest friends and I will be when we are in our 40s...

I'm pretty happy. There are a couple of areas that could use some improvement, but... I just may not be ready for some of the things I desire right now. "How is God supposed to take me where he wants me to be, if I'm busy looking back at where I've already been?" I believe God has so much in store for me; I just need to be patient and stop missing things from my past. In some aspects of my life, I'm in my uncomfortable place, but I believe that will just make my blessing even more wonderful when I finally receive it.

I need to work on my anger. I get mad and I yell and cuss. I'm learning to keep my cool. My Pastor says we should learn to worship when we are upset, instead of just when we're happy... I'm getting there.

The movie made me want to talk to a guy and figure out what they think and why they do the things they do, but I don't really think they think. I think they're selfish and the only thoughts they have concern how they can make themselves most happy. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood right now, but some changes need to be made. I'm not going to be nice and thoughtful. I think it's hight time I go back to being selfish. Selfish was working for me. Whenever I decided to be all doting and caring, it blew up in my face.

I feel somewhat contradictory. I would like to have guy friends to date and hang out with, but hanging out with guys that I don't like annoys me and then they get all attached and I'm just irritated by their presence. So clearly I would prefer to do these things with someone I like, but I don't want to like anyone because I don't want to get my life treated. I think the best love grows out of friendship, so I'm just working on establishing good friendships with my guy friends for now. By the time I meet the man God wishes to be my husband, I'll have learned how to really be friends with men with no unnecessary extra, and then the pure friendship can turn into something more, I guess.

The court reporter we use most of the time asked me if I had a bf, and when I replied, "no" she said "I don't blame you. Look at your selection. I feel bad for you young women". I feel bad for us too! I feel lonely sometimes because I miss having special guy friends... Then I think of the outcomes of the most recent situations where I actually cared for someone, and I look around at all my friends who are in relationships. (Nobody's happy except my friend who just got married. And her guy is 10 yrs older I think... Which I used to think meant that they were more mature and serious when it came to emotions and relationships, but now I'm learning age means nothing because the closest thing I have to a special guy friend right now is 13 years older than me, and though he says he "just hasn't found a woman he wants to marry yet" I believe it's really that he has NO intention of getting married any time soon because he still LOOKS young, and is VERY attractive.) If relationships are about lying and not trusting eachother, stunting your personal growth, and suppressing your own desires in favor of the other person's to your own detriment, I really don't need one. That's all I see in the relationships of my friends (except the married one). The disrespect is just outright HORRIBLE. I wish I would let someone talk to me crazy or put their hands on me.. I am so drama-free (and have been for quite some time) that I just don't even want that mess in my life.

I think guys get in relationships for 2 reasons. 1. Either they realize that suddenly they're not as attractive as they could be and need to finally embrace someone who actually cares before they miss their chance or 2. They've been hurt and want to exact revenge on the person who hurt them or validate themself by getting into a relationship to prove to themself or others that someone does want them. I think these only come after they have had sex with all the girls who could possibly want them and this practice either becomes too stressful, too tiring, or no longer is "cool" as they see most of their guys enter meaningful relationships.

I think the male ego is very detrimental to what many of what could be great relationships. K. Enough male-bashing... (But I really don't have much hope for them.)


I'm glad I didn't see that movie with my mother like I had originally planned to. There was entirely too much sex in it. It wasn't like the show... I would have hated to watch that with her.

What a GREAT day!

My grandma forgot my birthday, but it's okay. I threw her off by telling her that Saturday was an important day (LSAT) so she conflated the days and thought my birthday was Saturday as well.

I feel like there are a lot of ppl in my corner who are believing that I'll do well on my test, and I'm excited.

I got slightly annoyed that I didn't hear from a certain someone for my birthday, especially since I put so much thought (and MONEY) into their present. Whatever. I would say they're officially dead to me, but that's not the Christian way to think, so I'll jsut say that I'm done trying to be their friend. The broken pieces of that friendship will remain on the floor... I don't even care to clean it up, figure out what went wrong, or try to put them back together... (Some ppl are so selfish.)

That's really the only downer about today. I had a GREAT birthday and I can't wait to celebrate next week with 20 of my friends... With all the great sentiments from the people who do love me, what sense does it make worrying about those who don't.

I'm SO glad I don't have to work tomorrow. I could really use the rest!

I bought some virgin Indian wavy hair today because it was on sale... I keep lucking up and finding high-end remy hair for less than beauty supply store remy prices.

My job bought me a DELICIOUS cake and sang to me. My o.m. told every1 that I'm taking the LSAT,and their words of encouragement seemed so sincere. I feel like God really has great things in store for my life, and He's just opening up doors for me.

My praise session this morning had me listening to the following throwback which really applies to the way I felt for a short time today:



this song really blessed me today! I'm amped about my LSAT, Saturday too!