Pastor H preached on this about a month ago and it struck such a chord with me that I bought the sermon on DVD! lol.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-7

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, 5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

I don't think that many people know what it means to love. I think many people say that they love others or they are in love with others, but they truly have no clue what it really means to love someone. I think love and forgiveness goes hand in hand. Verses 4-7 are the most striking to me; probably because they're sometimes confusing to me!

For example... "Love never gives up"... Love never gives up on WHAT, exactly? I have a friend who I is in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship, but she sticks around. I guess she thinks that since she "loves" dude, she should stay in the relationship believing that it will get better. I understand her naivete to a certain extent, but only because I have been there before. When you're in love with someone and have put a lot of time and energy into a situation, it's very difficult to turn away. So she innterprets this scripture to mean that love never gives up on the thing that one is in love with... I interpret it to mean love never gives up on... love. Like even though I've been hurt so badly, and though I may have my issues with the male sex, I don't give up on love because I am sure that somewhere is the perfect person for me... IDK.

And then what's with the "Love cares for others more than for self". I think that this does make sense because it leads to selfless friendships and relationships, but what if the other person doesn't really love you? What if it's a phoney friend who shows you love just until it's no longer convenient for them to do so? Are you supposed to selflessly love this friend who hurt you so much that you put your own feelings aside and continue allowing them to hurt you? When does the concept of loving one's self take precedence? This is problematic for me because it has the ability to contradict with the notion of loving another more than one's self. I mean, I"m sure that it's possible to do both, but I think that's when the concept of FORGIVENESS comes in!

One thing I've learned is that many people in this world just don't know how to forgive. I'm the type of person, who, if hurt by someone and presented with what appears to be a GENUINE apology, will forgive that person, no matter how much pain they have caused! I've done it with my mother even though she STILL puts me through all hell at times, I've done it with tried and true friends (again... respect is IMPERATIVE for success in this area) I've even forgiven a girl who was an accomplice to the person who inflicted so much pain on me that I still struggle with it at times... I think that's what the scripture meant when it says "Love doesn't keep score of the sins of others". The aforementioned friend cheated on her boyfriend and TOLD him. (Now, I'm an advocate for total honesty, but based on past experiences, I don't think guys our age... and even older guys... can handle total honesty about certain things.) He clearly has insecurity issues based on the way he berates and belittles her, and the way he treated her even before she cheated or admitted to doing so... That's not my point... Nor yet, anyway... But they're supposedly "working out their relationship" but every chance he gets, he throws her confession in her face, and snoops in her fb, myspace, and emails without telling her (even going so far as to change her passwords when he can't get in, which is dumb as hell because she's obviously gonna notice when she tries to log in) even though she's bending over backward to try to prove that she is sorry and faithful... What a total waste of time, IMO.
IDK why it's so easy for me to forgive ppl, but I think when I've decided to love someone and make them important in my life, I just want to forgive them. I'm learning that forgiveness is a rare virtue.. Not many possess the ability to truly turn the other cheek I believe I do a pretty good job of it but I haven't always felt that the favor has been returned. I have an ex-friend whom I hurt in the past when I couldn't be for him something that he wanted because I was in pain and trying to deal with the situation which caused me this pain and to remove myself from it so as NOT to hurt him. Now, I see where he's coming from but I feel that 1. It's unfair that I can see and accept his side; his feeliings about the situation but he will not; 2. He's kinda naive for thinking that it would have been that easy for me to do, and 3. We could still be friends if he were willing to be an adult, face/talk to me about the hurt that IMO he still feels concerning the situation instead of running from the conversation whenever it has the potential to arise or alluding to it or briinging it up in RANDOM scenarios that have really nothing to do with it so he can take cheap shots which are meant to hurt me and then quickly changing the subject. I feel that His refusal to deal with the issue and completely forgive me (for something I don't really feel responsible for... I was hurt and I was weak... I was incapable of doing what he wanted me to do when he wanted me to do it.) has been the downfall of our friendship. I admit that I made some mistakes, but the fact that he refuses to forgive me and appears to still hold this grudge (even though he may not realize that this is what he's doing) makes it hard to reconnect with him and even easier to make detrimental mistakes.Whatever.. I cannot change another person's mind, so this situation definitely is what it is, and that's what it will continue to be because of the stubbornness of the other person...

Which brings me back to my original point. Maybe the ability to put one's stubbornness aside is what is meant by putting others first. It takes a lot of selflessness to swallow one's pride and reach out to someone who is too prideful to do it themself./0

"Doesn't revel when others grovel". That's probably the one thing I have an issue not doing.. When people hurt me, I have noticed myself, out of revenge, wishing bad things would happen to them. I konw this is wrong. It's something I'm working ont. I guess if I truly forgive someone, this wouldn't happen... IDK.

I still think I'm better than most at this forgiveness game... I can only think of one person who I truly struggle with and have not forgiven... This person also has not given me a sincere apology for hurting me, and I never got the chance to fully communicate to this person just how much pain their actions caused. The sucky part is that neither of things will probably happen, so I have to figure out how to forgive this person without any positive action on their part.