If Only You Knew

So we're texting about marriage and (not really) love...

(Thoughts spurred by my experiences working at the divorce and family law firm and a drama-filled Thursday deposition in which we interviewed the girlfriend a husband is cheating on his wife with...

All 3 parties and their lawyers were present...

The husband was acting a fool and the WHORE's lawyer was trying to convince her that the wife was a horrible person for not wanting to befriend the WHORE... The nerve of some people.

I love my job...)

Anyway...

I share my newfound speculations about about marriage, cheating, and money.

You make a joke that if both the husband and wife are poor, they'll be poor together... Typical You...

I say that won't be a concern in MY marriage, because both of us will be wealthy...

You ask me if "by 'Us' I was referring to you and I"... Thereby incorporating yourself in my future fantasy. (Maybe not intentionally, but it happened)

The funny thing is that I WASN'T referring to you because I was more than half sleep, since it often takes you HOURS to respond to texts, even when continuing a text conversation...

My mind just wasn't thinking that deeply then.

However, I won't lie... I have wondered that about our future (specifically marriage) when things were going well between us, though I'd never tell you that

(at least not now, cuz I'm sure you'd handle it stupidly, and I see no point of even thinking of you in that way... Right now, I'm honestly content with rebuilding our friendship, if that's something you'd want to do)

and when you asked me that question you caught me off guard and made those old thoughts surface for a fraction of a second.

So I responded in my cryptic way that's not a lie and not the whole truth... Most people never catch on (or never care, lol) and I'm usually never asked to clarify what I meant.

"I'm referring to my future husband and I"...

That left the window open... If you still want a place in my fantasy, it's yours... If you're my future husband... Otherwise, I'm not referring to you, Honey.

And of course my overanalytical mind wonders why you'd even think that there's a possibility that I'd be reffering to you? And even if you thought it, why you'd alert me to the fact that the possibility crossed your mind?

Does this mean you've wondered about me in this way before!?

I crack up when I think back to the very first time it crossed mine... I crack up... You'd probably misread it and be upset.

And then I roll over and go back to sleep, in disbelief that I still wake up out of my sleep to answer my phone for you at 1:30 in the morning... ESPECIALLY just a text...

Now I'm wondering how you're doing tonight... right this very second. Sleep well... Sweet dreams... Maybe we'll communicate this week... Maybe not...