Laziness

So a couple friends and I were talking about laziness when it comes to opposite sex relationships... My 1 friend has had guys reach out to her, but she would just not call or text them back, and she said this is cuz she just dont have the energy. I guess I understand that to a certain extent. Like I was telling my friend today, I'm to the point where all that extra never seems to work out. So I'm not doing anything extra. I'm too lazy/tired to do anything xtra. If it doesn't come easy, it don't need to come at all.

But then I be thinking that it WON'T come easy, because I have this outlook that all these guys bore me. If they fine, they bastards. Or they dumb as rocks and not doing nothing with their life. If they are doing somethin, they're so hideous I couldn't bear to look at them. Everyone halfway decent is already in a relationship, and many of those who fall in the last group still don't CARE about their relationship, is even more of a turnoff. I'm tired of giving giving giving. I just want to receive. So if it doesn't seem that that's where something is headed, I'm instantly bored and lock that person into some category that minimizes their importance to my life.

Maybe I'll have a movie nite w/ my friend this week. He moves into his new condo. Maybe I'll be able to pick his brain more about how guys think, although he wasn't very helpful last time... I gotta find a way to get the secrets out... He was too guarded last time, talkin bout betraying his sex and stuff... I'm gonna figure this out 1 way or another.

The paralegal @ my job asked me what kind of guys I'm attracted to... I said "breathing". lol. She was trying to hook me up with her daughter's god daddy. He was attractive, (if I could get him to cut this stupid beard off his chin) but I wasn't interested, cuz he looked a lil jobless! lol. I didn't like how he dressed... Like a thug. I'm not attracted to that no more. Haven't been in years! All things "thug" make me run screaming in the opposite direction. I learned my lesson. My o.m. gon jump in like, uh-uh he ain't good enuff 4 her. And the paralegal gon say "I aint tryna find her a life partner! I'm just tryna get her some DICK!" (Ahhh the rare peaceful days when all the partners are out of the office)

I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT! I'm like, honestly disgusted. It would be nice to wait until I'm married to have sex, but... being (either negative or realistic) I doubt that'll happen. So I'll say that I want to wait until I have a strong mental, physical, emotional connection with someone b4 I engage in that kind of behavior. Otherwise, I'm seriously like ewwwwwwww! You want to do WHAT? With WHAT? and put it WHERE? And I'm supposed to LIKE that!? GROSS! Like I'm a little kid or something. I don't understand it. I used to be the type of girl who could just have casual sex... That's not me... Hasn't been for quite some time. The only result of that is an INSTANT feeling of disgust. Or, if I was trying to force myself to casually sex someone that I used to have feelings for, I realized that I still had feelings for them, and then THAT ish didn't work out, because I wasn't satisfied with the casual nature of the sex. Some of my friends are perfectly okay with the casual sex thing. It's just not me. I'm a failure at casual sex. So more often than not, I simply choose not to partake.

An acquaintance calls me every blue moon, but before he gets off the phone with me, he never fails to ask me who I'm f-in now... There seems to be an obvious ulterior motive in his asking... I find it funny. Glad to know that my sex life (or lack thereof) is of interest to you!

Eventually I'm gonna be too lazy to answer my phone. Especially for one acquaintance who crawls out from under a rock just to irritate me, and then disappear again. My friend and I both agree that they should never leave their rock. Poof... staygone!