Ambitious

Sometimes, I just sit in awe and think about all the great things God has done/is doing in my life.

My job matches every single qualification that I began praying for this time last year. I almost can't believe it. I prayed for specific things for specific reasons:

1. To work in a family or criminal law firm. (I wanted to make sure this is something I wanted to do for a significant amount of the rest of my life, and Intellectual Property and Personal Injury just aren't the type of lawyer I want to be so I wanted experience working in a field that I knew would attract me for a significant part of the rest of my life.)
2. To be making a certain salary AND have benefits.(I need to buy a car and I have other financial responsibilities. Plus, I wanted 2 have money 2 have fun, like travel or something on a whim.)
3. To be working closely with the lawyers and not just pushing paper and stuffing envelopes in some huge firm and never see my boss. (I wanted to be able to see the whole process from client intake to case completion. I wanted to spend time with the people in my future occupation and learn from them the subtle things that you just don't learn in law school.)
4. I wanted a congenial, fun office environment. (Self explanatory... Who wants to be bored to death at work.)

So I got them all. The divorce cases that my firm handles are all pretty well-to-do clients. (I mean, they have to be, when the partner billing rate is $450-$500/hr, the associate billing rate is $250-$300/hr, and the paralegal and I bill at $125/hr.) These people have huge amounts of assets and in some cases, huge marital debt, so the cases can get pretty convoluted. Add to that Chicago's corrupt politics which try to make a profit off of ANY exchange/acquisition of property that could possibly take place in marriage life, and you get these phenomenal taxes which impact the marital estate and make the case all the more cumbersome. For example, when transferring a 2.5 million dollar house from one spouse to the other, the city makes about 30k. Something like that. I don't know the exact numbers. How unfair! The amount of effort it takes to put into some of these cases means that in a WEEK a client's bill can skyrocket $10,000 more than the previous week, and I truly understand why the attorneys in my office can be stressed and cranky at times (and why there's a bottle of Ketel One in the freezer...) My bosses mentioned that I will be slightly more prepared for law school because I'll have a working knowledge of the progression of a case and I'll understand many of the terms and how they affect cases because I can apply them to my experiences, instead of just studying for memorization during law school.

My salary is great! I have another friend who is an entry-level paralegal and she's making way less than me w/o benefits. Her last firm was cheap too. I interviewed there but they were corrupt and just closed down and skipped town! I guess that's what happens when you work for cheap, corrupt personal injury ambulance chasing lawyers. I have medical and dental PPO and a vision discount. These are not deducted from my salary, but are cushioned by the firm. I also got a week's paid vacation from Christmas through New Years, so I didn't return to work until January 5th.

I was a little angry with my office manager when she told the whole firm that I was taking the LSAT the day after my birthday. I didn't want them to know that I am applying to law school because I was worried that I would be fired because they didn't want to train someone who would be leaving them next year. However, it's worked out in my favor because now that they know, they've put more pressure on me to perform well, and I think it's grooming me for the discipline and perfection that is needed to excelll in law school. Also, the 2 founding partners helped me with my personal statement and essays for my applications, which is great.

I LOVE the office environment. Though stressful at times, the environment is usually fun, especially when all the partners are away at court. Then all the crazy conversations ensue as my office manager and the paralegal try to hook me up with any eligible bachelor they know between age 25 and 35. Though I know that one should be wary of the personal relationships formed at work, my office manager is cool. Since she's only about 8 years older than me, she gives me all kinds of advice for the real world; not just at work. The paralegal does the same. One of my bosses is a gay middle-aged man... He is SO fun, spewing random phrases into our office gossip such as "if he wants a RIDE, he needs to come give you one!" (I'm not even going to go into why I was getting booty call advice from a partner! lol) The two founding partners are at retirement age. One is similar to my grandmother... Yell first, find out why later. She hurt my feelings during my first couple of weeks, but my skin is thicker, and I know how to interact with her. The other is SO cool (despite being in her 50s), and SO classy... She's seriously has so many qualities that I hope to possess by the time I'm her age.

The first founding partner, when giving me my Christmas bonus, told me that she sees ambition in my eyes. I took this as a compliment to work harder and only do better. I'd love to secure a good letter of recommendation by the time I have to tell them goodbye when I get accepted to law school.

My pastor's been preaching on favor. I really do feel favored, because a lot of opportunities I get, I do not necessarily deserve. I love it, though, and I really don't care to try to explain to others who try to wrap their brains around my success. I'm thankful because I couldn't have done many things without God, and if people refuse to accept this as an explanation, they don't matter. This is why I've chosen to not tell many people about my specific goals and ambitions. I don't want people cursing my destiny with their negativity. Some people are so miserable in their own lives that they just can't stand to see someone else obtain success...

The bad part is, though I'm grateful for the wonderful things God is doing in my life, I think I remain pretty humble. I hope that all of my friends find a way to be successful and follow their dreams. However, there are certain people who just can't seem to be totally happy in my happiness. The ex bff's mother called me the other night and told me that she finally spoke to the ex bff about why I haven't been around. The ex bff clearly still cannot take responsibility for her actions. She told her mother that I owe her money. Then she said there was a misunderstanding on my birthday weekend, and her phone was broken, but I didn't understand that and stopped being her friend... The final straw was when she said that I started acting funny when I got my new job...

Really? Acting funny? Those comments come from people who are dissatisfied with their own level of success (or lack thereof). People are a hot mess.

"Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as succes--yours or his"
--Franklin P. Jones